mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
