wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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