Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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