Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
