come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
