i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
