Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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