Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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