omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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