I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
