she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
