This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I think my moral compass just broke
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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