you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
