margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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