We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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