Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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