Welp...herpes.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
My vagina just recognized that song.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
