Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
