its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
There's even glitter on my cock...
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