Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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