YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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