I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
time to smoke my breakfast
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
