Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
