Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
