..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
