FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
