We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
