it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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