Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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