Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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