I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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