Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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