It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I am mentally ready for anal.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
