I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
