remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
