I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
