How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
