Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
