So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
