ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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