When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
