you guys were way drunker than both of me
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
i need to put some appletini on your dick
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
