you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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