ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
