He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
