i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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