I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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