so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
