You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Randomize
