So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
