Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Damn victory sex feels great
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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