just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
